Crisis as an opportunity: the secret of inner happiness

You always hear about the pursuit of happiness, perhaps echoing the words of the U.S. Declaration of Independence, according to which the pursuit of happiness is an inalienable human right. This term may, however, be misleading. We conclude that happiness depends on what we manage to find. We believe that we won’t feel truly gratified until we don’t reach certain goals. Thus, we have a sharp dissatisfaction with our current situation, and we work hard to obtain various self-imposed targets to which we have arbitrarily attributed healing powers on our psychological well-being. However, when those dreams come true, we realize we are still frustrated anyway. The result is a depressing feeling that confuses us: are we insatiable, or is life inclement towards us? We rock, then, between guilt and victimhood, and end up feeling even more disheartened.

Actually, most of the time, we are not too demanding nor life is relentlessly against our fate. Ours is a matter of perspective from which we consider the question of happiness. We're hunting for an emotion that cannot be found outside. This is the cause of our feeling constantly unsatisfied. Furthermore, this exasperated research is at the base of most addictions and bad relationships. We believe that the love of someone may be able to provide us happiness or that winning the lottery would give us the precious joy at last. Some rely on psychoactive drugs, food or other compulsions to experience pleasure. Unfortunately, we must sadly acknowledge that every source of pleasure found in the external environment can only be a relief that is absolutely transient. Ephemeral. It evaporates without leaving any lasting benefit behind.

Happiness is an intimate state: it is necessarily solipsistic before being shared. This implies the uncomfortable inference that we must take responsibility of our miseries without blaming unfortunate events or mean oppressors. Blaming others does not help to solve problems. It is important to learn to accept both one’s own failures and one’s own successes. Avoid self-pity. Happiness is also accepting our limits, the bitter truth that sometimes we cannot change things immediately. Let’s choose more realistic goals and let’s begin to act on things we can change.

Conceiving happiness as a resource already in our repertoire also has a positive side. If we recognize joy as a mental disposition which depends only on us, we will experience a powerful control on our emotion which will give us energies we didn’t expect. We don’t have to look for anything and, most importantly, there is no need to wait, the serenity is already here, within us.
Many people waste their energy to get angry about trivial details of everyday life. The joy comes from mastering the art of taking pleasure from what we have already achieved. Let’s smile. This will be enough to change our attitude towards events. Instead of complaining about what we lack, let’s appreciate the value of the good things we already have.

Joy is a conscious choice. The emotional reaction to an event is determined by how you choose to perceive a situation from the point of view from which it arises. Positive thinking is, in fact, one of the best indicators of the satisfaction of the people. So, get into the habit of getting rid of all negative medidations and replacing them with positive ones. Let’s consider the moments of crisis as an opportunity for you to take action and improve yourself and shaking stagnant situations. Actually, problems are excellent teachers although they scare us. Sometimes it can be useful to endure the discomfort of changing one’s habits in order to find better ones and enjoy new viewpoints on troubles.

Marzia Vaccaro - I Like Italy

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